It just might be time for a Friendship Inventory.
I’ve heard it said that you are most like the 5 people you spend the majority of your time with. LOOK AROUND. Are they who you want to emulate? Do they possess opinions/beliefs that you want to adopt for yourself? Are they kind? Are they loyal? Do they strive to grow, to continue to learn, to stretch themselves, to work towards goals and bettering themselves and their surroundings? Are they happy?
These are qualities/values that are important to me; things that I am personally working on.
So when I look around at my friends, family, who I’m choosing to spend time with, if I don’t see these same qualities/values in them, I have to stop and ask myself, why am I spending time with them.
Have you ever been in a great mood, then interact with somebody who is a “Debbie Downer” (sorry to the cheerful Debbie’s out there!) and all the sudden you notice your mood dropping. Maybe irritation starts to swoop in. You find yourself jumping on the negativity train and talking poorly about somebody or a situation that “Debbie” has an issue with.
WAIT!! What just happened??
You just picked up Debbie’s negative energy and she sucked you down into her funk.
When I accidentally let this happen, I get so irritated with myself. This isn’t who I want to be! This isn’t the mood I want to be in! This isn’t how I want to present myself to the world.
Then on the flip side, do you have that “Susie Sunshine” friend who makes you happy and puts a smile on your face every time you see her? She is fun to be around, puts you in a better mood, and makes you feel better about yourself when you are in her presence?
Yes, THAT GIRL! That is who I want to be. The person who puts a smile on somebody’s face when they see me. Again, it’s the same thing happening here. You pick up Susie’s positive energy and rise up to her level.
People’s vibes are contagious…trust me. So what do you do?
You choose wisely who you spend your time with! You seek out friendships with people who inspire you. You make sure you aren’t the smartest person in the room, because if you are, what do you have to learn?
You limit your time with people who “suck the life” or positive energy from you. You limit, or eliminate, time spent with people who have no desire to grow, to learn, to improve. They do not bring out the best in you. They are not your tribe.
But what if you are related to those people? Ouch, now this can be tricky. You probably aren’t going to completely eliminate them from your life. Although there are people who are so toxic, this might be necessary. But in most instances, you can simply limit the time spent with them. You choose when you see them, or interact with them. You choose how much of your time and energy to give to them.
Then you move on to YOUR TRIBE! Your peeps. The people who inspire, uplift and encourage you, those you look up to, learn from. Seek out as much time as possible with these people. They will elevate you and help to level up your life. They will nourish your soul.
So friend, go ahead and take a friendship inventory today. Choose wisely. We are talking about your energy, your sanity, your life. Want to be better? Hang out with better!