It May Be Time for a Friendship Inventory
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn
Are your friends uplifting, encouraging, inspiring you to be better and do better? No? It just might be time for you to conduct a friendship inventory. 🥰
LOOK AROUND 👀, who are you hanging out with? Are they who you want to emulate? Do they possess opinions and beliefs that you want to adopt for yourself? Are they kind? Are they loyal? Are they trustworthy? Do they strive to grow, to continue to learn, to stretch themselves, to work towards achieving their goals, bettering themselves and their surroundings?
These are qualities and values that are important to me; things that I am striving to work on. So, when I look around at my friends, family, who I’m choosing to spend time with, if I don’t see these same qualities and values in them, I must stop and ask myself, “Why am I choosing to spend time with them?”
Have you ever been in a great mood, then interact with somebody who is a “Debbie Downer” (sorry to all the cheerful Debbies out there!) and all the sudden you notice your mood spiraling? Maybe irritation starts to swoop in. You find yourself jumping on the negativity train and talking badly about somebody or a situation that “Debbie” has an issue with.
WAIT!! What just happened?? 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
You just picked up Debbie’s negative energy and adopted it as your own. Debbie has just dragged you down to the depths of whatever despair she’s wallowing in.
When I accidentally let this happen, I am immediately irritated with myself. I catch myself thinking, “This isn’t who I want to be! This isn’t the mood I want to be in. This isn’t how I want to show up and present myself to the world.” 🤔
Then on the flip side, do you have that “Susie Sunshine” friend who makes you happy and puts a smile on your face every time you see her? She is fun to be around, puts you in a better mood, and makes you feel better about yourself when you are in her presence?
Yes, THAT GIRL! 💃 That is who I aspire to be, the girl who puts a smile on everybody’s face when they see her coming. What is different with these two scenarios? Absolutely nothing, the exact thing happened in both. But this time you picked up Susie’s positive energy and rose to her level.
People’s energy and vibes are contagious. So, what should you do to protect your energy?
Choose wisely who you spend your time with! Seek out friendships with people who inspire you, who have the same set of values and priorities as you. Another tip, make sure you are not the smartest person in the room, because if you are, you have nothing to learn, nowhere to grow.
Limit your time with people who “suck the life” or positive energy from you. Reduce, or eliminate, time spent with people who have no desire to grow, to learn, to improve. They do not bring out the best in you. They are not your tribe.
What if you are related to those people? Ouch, now this can be tricky. You probably aren’t going to eliminate them from your life. Although there are some people who are so toxic, this might be necessary. In most instances, you can simply limit the time spent with them. You choose when you see, or interact with, them. You choose how much of your time and energy to give to them. Here’s the key: you get to choose! Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Boundaries are not designed to push people away, but rather to protect your energy.
Next, move on and work to find your tribe – your peeps. The people who inspire, uplift and encourage you, those you look up to and learn from. Seek out as much time as possible with these people. They will elevate you and help to level up your life. They will nourish your soul.
So friend, go ahead and take a friendship inventory today. Choose wisely. Want to be better? Hang out with better! 👯
